My secret ingredient for confidence

Well, this seems like an irony because I don’t feel confident that I am the best person to write about confidence.

That feeling—that you are not enough, that you have not prepared enough, or that you don’t deserve to be here—is what causes low confidence for me, and I guess for a lot of you as well.

woman in discussing a lesson plan
Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on

Understand it like this: suppose you have a presentation to give. In this scenario, the only reason you might lack confidence is if you have not prepared enough or do not know the material well enough. Some of you might say that you are afraid and have stage fear, which is why you are not confident. However, actually, no confidence has nothing to do with stage fear. It is a different issue that needs to be tackled differently. And even if you have prepared with the material, you might feel less confident because of the clothes you are wearing, the way you are walking, or your body posture. and from here, it is a slippery slope.

man giving jacket to woman
Photo by Jeswin Thomas on

I don’t want to bore you with a presentation example, but a similar concept can be applied to a dating scenario. For instance, suppose you go on a date with a girl. At that time, you might feel less confident because you might think, ‘She is so beautiful, I don’t deserve her.’ You might also worry about whether you are dressed right, smelling good, or if your jokes are appropriate. Blah, blah, blah.

I know I promised a solution to low self-confidence, but knowing the problem means it’s half solved, right?

So my secret ingredient is to prepare as much as I can, and really, there is no other secret, but without going down the rabbit hole of preparing so much to achieve perfection,

Don’t let perfect be an enemy of the good

Yep, that’s it. I am not going to write a book about it.😅


In case you missed “Preparation is the secret of my confidence”

There is one more ingredient that I call “controlled ignorance” but that is for another day🤗


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